When we first found out that something was not quite right with our fertility, I felt so ashamed and embarrassed. I couldn’t help but think if infertility was so uncommon, then why us? It was so uncommon to hear of friends or family members struggling with their fertility. But little did I know, approximately 11.5% to 15.7%, or 1 in 6, of Canadian couples struggle with some form of infertility.

Despite these statistics, I still felt alone.

At first, I found it extremely hard to take in all of the information that was being thrown at us. I had a lot of questions, but not a lot of time to ask them during our doctor’s appointments. So what does a person do when they have a medical question or concern, and no professional nearby to answer? THEY GOOGLE IT! And we all know what happens when you Google questions or symptoms; you’re automatically dying.

This is when I decided to turn to Facebook for some support. I soon realized that Facebook was not only good for keeping in contact with friends and family members, but it was also a great way to connect with people from all around the world who are fighting similar battles and dealing with similar demons. A few months ago, I joined a Facebook Infertility Support page, but quickly left it because I didn’t feel like I was ready to talk about things like IUI, IVF, medications, shots, etc. But, once we left the Fertility Clinic back in November, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get through all of this without the help and support from those who know what I am going through and how I feel.

Don’t get me wrong, I love talking to my friends and family about our journey, but sometimes I feel like they don’t truly understand. Getting questions and comments like, “You could always use or a sperm donor”, or “There are thousands of children out there who need loving homes, so why don’t you guys just adopt?”, or “Chill, you’re still so young”, is extremely frustrating, especially when it comes from those who have biological children with their husband or significant other.

Re-joining the Facebook Infertility Page was probably the best thing that I could have done. Although the circumstances are unfortunate, I have found myself to be a part of a community where people can relate to what I am going through, and most importantly, how I feel. They understand the hurt, the disappointment, the devastation, the anger, the excitement, the pain, the everything.

Words cannot express how much I idolize these women. In my eyes, they are warriors fighting an indefinite battle. Some of these women have been trying to conceive for over ten years, experienced multiple losses, multiple failed rounds of IUI and IVF, unexplained infertility, PCOS, endometriosis, shots upon shots; you name it, they’ve been through it. This group has provided us with the opportunity to lean on one another and to look to one another for love and support.

I am so thankful for the relationships that I have built thus far within my little Facebook community. I am thankful for those who have opened up to me and let me in on their secrets and struggles, and I am appreciative of those who provide me with an outlet for the secrets and struggles of my own. These ‘strangers’ have become very important people in my life, and I am so thankful to become a part of theirs.

I know my situation isn’t the worst possible situation to be in, but that doesn’t mean that it hurts any less.

When I think of this journey, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I see myself sitting in a hospital bed, beside my husband, who will be the biological father of that baby, snuggling and giving it endless amounts of kisses, while looking back at how the kindness of strangers has made it possible for me to be where I am at that moment. And only then will all of these emotions, tears, fights, etc. be worth it all.

Positive thoughts.

xoxo

Alannah Blais